[…] Related Post: 5 Ways You’re Writing Dialogue WRONG […]
Good dialogue will punch you in the chest.
It will swing like a fist out of the dark, and when it hits it will make your heart stop.
But when writing dialogue, most writers miss. Even professionals make some major mistakes (I’ll show you a few examples in a minute).
There are five things you need to stop doing when you write dialogue...
Fix these, and you will write dialogue that will smack your readers right in the emotions:
I have an exercise that helps me figure out how my characters interact.
No dialogue tags. No setting details. No nothing.
Great exercise… but not a great way to create “final draft” dialogue.
In a recent post, I talked about Hemingway’s 7 Ways to Write More Immersive Dialogue, and here’s one key takeaway I want to share with you:
“Good dialogue is not real speech. It’s the illusion of real speech.”
You need to explore your characters. I keep an “idea graveyard” at the bottom of my stories and chapters for this purpose.
But aimless dialogue is a problem that prevents many amateur writers from ever going “pro.”
You must have a goal for every written conversation. For example, every dialogue must do at least one of these things:
Great dialogue accomplishes several of these goals at once. It’s not about “characters just talking,” because real dialogue is boring.
It’s about driving your story forward and revealing the interesting pieces of your characters.
Good dialogue, and by extension, good writing, is all about one thing:
Keeping your readers hooked.
If every sentence you write makes your readers want to read the next sentence, then you are officially a “good writer.”
How do you make that happen? It’s easy. Well, it’s not easy, but the answer is simple:
Tension.
Your writing, your stories, and especially your dialogue, must play with tension.
It doesn’t have to be a non-stop, building-on-fire thriller (although thrillers are a great way to learn about tension).
But dialogue without tension is boring. That’s why I cringe everytime I see writers who include the small stuff…
...the introductions, the formalities and banalities… Really, anything that is obvious or unimportant to your dialogue’s goals.
Here’s a quick example from Writer’s Digest:
“Hello, Mary.”
“Hi, Sylvia.”
“My, that’s a wonderful outfit you’re wearing.”
“Outfit? You mean this old thing?”
“Old thing! It looks practically new.”
“It’s not new, but thank you for saying so.”
The author of the article transforms this yawn-inducing passage into urgent, just by cutting out the small stuff:
“Hello, Mary.”
“Sylvia. I didn’t see you.”
“My, that’s a wonderful outfit you’re wearing.”
“Where is he, Sylvia?”
Select your words carefully. Cut down on the unnecessary, and skip the boring parts.
I have a writing exercise for you at the end of this post that will help you massively improve your dialogue…
...but first, I have a few more mistakes to show you.
Think about the last time your phone rang.
When you picked up that phone, and said, “Hi Mom,” just before she launched into her twenty-minute tirade about how the mail person keeps throwing packages too hard against the door, and I swear! I’ll report him! I’ll do it!
I don’t know.
The point is, when you were talking to her… what were you doing?
Did you sit, bolt upright for twenty minutes? Or were you doing something:
This is something most video game writers get horribly wrong:
Add movement.
We love dialogue because it shows what your characters are made of. Their emotions.
Aside from realism (which helps immerse your writers), movement is an easy tool for revealing the emotional state of your characters.
For example, are you stomping and shaking the treadmill while listening to your Mom’s twenty-minute tirade?
Do you pull your earbuds out and let the rush of the treads drown out her frustrated shouts?
Or do you slow to a crawl while you try to comfort her, and help her get over it?
One of the quickest ways to lose your dialogue in the “Forest of Boring” is to keep your back-and-forth predictable.
For example, here’s a scene from the Script of a terrible movie called The Room:
CLAUDETTE: I'm fine. What's happening with you?
LISA: Nothing much.
CLAUDETTE: What's wrong? Tell me.
LISA: I'm not feeling good today.
CLAUDETTE: Why not?
LISA: I don't think I want to get married.
CLAUDETTE: Why not?
LISA: I don't love him anymore.
CLAUDETTE: Why not? Tell me why.
LISA: He's boring.
Two things I want you to note from this:
One of (many) problems with this script is it lacks any kind of firepower. The questions are dull, and the answers are worse.
Here’s a trick I learned that “sort of” employs Non Sequiturs. I call it the “Almost” Non Sequitur.
First… what is a Non Sequitur?
Non Sequitur (Latin): it does not follow.
Example of Non Sequitur dialogue:
“Hey are you hungry?”
“I’m not a fan of movies.”
The "Almost" Non Sequitur works like this:
Character A asks a question.
Character B responds with something that seems to not answer the question, but with enough subtext or hidden meaning to actually answer the question.
For example, we could fix the dialogue from The Room like this:
CLAUDETTE: I’m fine. What’s happening with you?
LISA: Have you ever cheated on someone before?
See how much shorter that is? See how quickly we can ramp up the tension and cut out all the slow, boring, obvious stuff?
Non Sequiturs and “Almost” Non Sequiturs allow you to shortcut the dull and jump right into the juicy stuff your readers actually care about.
I’ve been having a short story edited recently…
...as in, professionally edited.
And two things keep popping up:
Without stakes, you can’t have any tension. Readers need to know what your characters care about.
Your readers must know what’s at stake for at least one of your characters in every conversation.
On #3 - Think about this scene with Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker.
Vader is attempting to seduce Skywalker to the Darkside, but Luke has the upperhand, because he is strong and pure.
We know there is no way he will be seduced… Until those five fateful words:
“Luke. I am your Father.”
Remember! Death is NOT necessarily the ultimate stake.
There are many things worse than death… at least, when it comes to storytelling.
Emotion and tension will allow you to write more powerful dialogue.
With these five fixes in your arsenal, you will keep readers emotionally attached, and you’ll be able to skip past all the “boring parts” that ruin otherwise fantastic stories.
I’ve got a short writing exercise that will help you:
This will force your dialogue to speed up, and should help you remove the redundant, too-obvious lines.
Tell me how it went in the comments below!
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Informative article. Thank you. ?
Really helpful. Great stuff.
Thanks!!!!!!!! These are so brilliant!!!!!!!!! I love the simple way you explain ideas. Love the great tips which I haven't heard before. I have learned so much from your information... thank you. You're being so generous sharing this. I have a finished novel and although I love my world and overall feel of my story... I knew it needed many things fixed... all your articles have answered them... cannot wait to get back to super-tweaking. All my characters bow to you... they can't wait to explode out of the page... and now they will. My kids and wife are writers... I went and showed them your site straight away. Thank you. I mean it. thank you.
Oh, that is fantastic. I'm so glad I could help Martin.
Thanks for sharing your blog. I learn something new in writing dialogue. Writing is a specialty that requires both skills and talents. I learn by doing, by committing errors, and afterward observing where I turned out badly.
100% right. The best way to learn is to practice the right things.